A welcome sight

It came! My diploma arrived yesterday--exactly two weeks after graduation (sooner than I expected).

And after four years of working hard for that piece of paper, I must say, it looks quite beautiful! :)

Proud to be a UT grad!

I'm done! Actually, I have been for over a week, but I'm just now writing a quick little summary about it. I am officially a college grad! I graduated bright and early last Thursday (whose idea was it to hold a graduation ceremony that early--and on a weekday?) from the University of Tennessee with a Bachelor of Science degree in Communications in Journalism and Electronic Media. It was definitely one of the happiest moments of my life.

I still don't think it has fully sunk in yet, although it does feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Graduating is one of those moments that isn't measured and experienced strictly during the hour and a half ceremony or thirty seconds of walking across the stage. One of the first times I really started to realize I was really truly about to be finished, was when I walked out of my third astronomy exam two weeks before graduation. It was a difficult course and thanks to some issues with the way my instructor taught and structured the class, those last few weeks were very frustrating and stressful. But after walking out of that exam, which was much easier than I expected it to be, I knew everything was going to be okay. Since I got to drop one of my four exam grades in that class, and the rest of my final exams were going to be pretty easy, in that moment it felt like the semester might as well be over. I think I smiled, laughed, and felt like I was floating through the rest of the day!

Another notable moment came during the rehearsal meeting. I found myself wiping away happy tears on the way back to my car as I remembered the ups and downs of my college experience: My first two years at Pellissippi and earning my associate's degree. The last two years at UT. The people I've met along the way. And some of the fun and inspiring classes I've had, like American Literature II with Edward Francisco at Pellissippi. Professor Francisco is absolutely awesome. I LOVED our two big projects in that class. I still have the children's book I wrote and the outline for my research project and class presentation on Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War in East Tennessee. It's like he knew I love to write and love history and intentionally planned our class assignments around that!

And of course, I can't forget Lauren Spuhler's Online Journalism class at UT! I really believe the class was a pivotal point in my pursuit of journalism. I knew not long after beginning that course that online journalism would play some role in my future (it does). More than anything, I believe the class provided a means for me to put all the skills I had learned up to that point in print, broadcast, and online journalism to use in practical, meaningful ways--with a wonderful teacher to provide guidance and encouragement along the way. And I loved it.

Bonnie Hufford's Editing class was challenging, but inspiring. I've always loved grammar and that course called on me to use everything I already knew and pushed me to learn more. There were times I thought I could recite grammar and AP style rules in my sleep, but I loved it. And Ms. Bonnie was an awesome teacher! I think her class sealed my fate as a grammar nerd!

I also couldn't help but remember some of the lower points. Like the sheer (and self-inflicted) torture of taking economics and probability and statistics over the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. The cruel and unusual punishment of Mass Communication Law and Ethics with Dr. Teeter and Dr. Leiter as an evening class once a week for three hours. The frustration of astronomy this semester. The horror I felt when I realized the 5-credit-hour precalculus course I took my first semester didn't count toward my major (I hate math. So not only did I take a math class everyday for nothing--it also meant I had to take an additional class to satisfy my requirements! So this math-hater took three college math courses.)

And of course, other outside events tied to college, like connecting with the Harvest CCA group and eventually ending up at Harvest Church. :) I pondered all of those thoughts and more.

The past four years have been quite a journey. An adventure that has been a wonderful and fulfilling experience overall, but certainly not without its challenges. More than anything, my college experience has been a step-by-step journey of learning to trust God on a deeper level and follow his guidance--even when I only have just enough instruction to take the next step, with absolutely no idea what the big picture looks like. *laughter* As a matter of fact, I'm not sure I ever had a glimpse of the big picture. I still don't know exactly why God has me doing this, I just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what I'm supposed to do in this season of my life.

I'm very much a planner who likes to have all my ducks in a row, so at times the "not knowing" aspect of the journey felt like it was going to kill me. But God was there with me every step of the way--guiding my steps, calming my fears, putting up with my whining, and reassuring me that he loves me and has a plan for my life. And God has faithfully kept his promises.

I love, love, love learning. So even if school drove me crazy at times, I enjoyed the majority of it and thrived in the academic atmosphere. However, I have been very ready for quite some time to embark on a lifetime of learning outside of the confines of an institution. I was definitely happy to graduate! Even though I'm done with school, I will always be learning something new, whether I'm reading a book, learning a new hobby, etc. The day I stop learning is the day they bury me in the ground!

But all in all, I'm overwhelmed at God's grace and goodness. His grace has been more than enough and he has blessed me far more than I deserve. And I am so thankful!

I also want to take a moment to thank each of you who have supported me, put up with me, prayed for me and encouraged me through this journey. I couldn't have made it without you guys. Love you!

I'm back!

Wow! It's embarrassing to me how long it's been since I wrote a blog post! And I'm honestly not really sure why I haven't written. Yes, I've been busy, but not necessarily any busier than I was last semester. This has just been a very different season. I tried to blog occasionally, but when I would sit down and look at my computer screen, my mind would go blank and I just wouldn't "feel it." A great deal of that could relate to where I was emotionally for a while. I'm not sure what happened, but at some point after the new year (and maybe a little before), I found myself feeling really down. Consequently, I walked around for months with a semi-depressed, indifferent attitude in many areas of my life.

It often felt weird to me to feel that way. School and work were going well. I genuinely enjoy my job and I'm very blessed to have it, and it's my last semester of school. So why wasn't I more excited and happy? As a matter of fact, if anyone had asked me about it, I probably would have either denied that I was feeling down or at least downplayed how I really felt. It just didn't seem right to me that I should be feeling that way.

This has just been a very different chapter in my life. The season I've been in has required me to work a different kind of schedule, going to school full-time is crazy as always, and as a result, I've had an almost nonexistent social life and have been able to spend precious little time with my close friends and family. Over time, that really began to wear on me. I missed the interaction and fellowship more than words can express, and the feeling of disconnection that comes with being away for a while often hurt me to my core.

But...I'm bouncing back. :) For the past month or so, especially over the past couple of weeks, I can feel my joy returning. :)

One example is in the area of school. "Senioritis" hit me much harder than I thought it would this semester. Before spring break, I really struggled to stay motivated to do my school work. And coming from someone who used to spend her breaks trying to get ahead in school work (early in my college days--I have since reformed and taken on the normal student's abhorrence of even looking at a textbook while on break), that's saying a lot. Knowing this, I expected to come back from spring break to spend the remaining six weeks or so agonizing through the rest of the semester. Instead, I've returned with a renewed zeal to hit the books hard, enjoy it, and finish out stronger than ever. What?!?! Where did that come from?? I've been pleasantly surprised by my new attitude and thankful for God's grace and faithfulness to help me finish strong.

An even better example is my recent big news. I will move into a full-time producer position at work at the end of April! I'll have a full-time job--doing what I want to do--in this tough job market--before I graduate!!! Now this really is a testimony to the grace of God! As much as every graduating senior wants things to happen like that, it wasn't supposed to work out that way for me. I was mentally prepared to have to stay part-time for an undetermined amount of time. But a sudden change in circumstances allowed the situation to work out even better than I had dared to hope. God is SOOOOO good!

This new opportunity will also allow me to attend church on Sunday mornings on a somewhat regular basis. Yay! I seriously can't wait. I'm not so naive that I don't realize that my new schedule won't be easy and will still make for a challenging social life. I'm also well aware that there is certainly nothing glamorous about working overnight and super-early shifts, but I'm excited nonetheless. This is an incredible opportunity and I'm praying that God will help me to do well as I move forward. God clearly has me where I am for a reason (which only he knows), and whatever it is he has for me, I want to do it and do it well.

I also realize that although the past four years have often been challenging, I've been crazy blessed when it comes to school. God's met me every step of the way, provided for my needs, and allowed me to do well--much better than I deserve. Seeing the culmination of all that as I prepare to close this chapter in my life is almost overwhelming. As I look back over the past four years, I stand in awe of what God has done in my life. Yes, I've worked hard, but my college experience is certainly not the fruit of my efforts, but rather God's on my behalf!

So even though this season is still different and the one ahead will be too, particularly as I begin to focus on working toward moving out and beginning life on my own as an adult, I'm happy, excited, thankful, and joyous anyway. I can't wait to see what the next chapter of my life will hold. God is good, his grace is more than enough, and his faithfulness is never-ending. We serve an awesome, awesome God!

A white surprise

Sometimes I think God likes to keep us guessing what the weather is going to be like around here.

I was startled this morning to stumble out of bed and start getting ready for class, only to look outside the back door and see a blanket of white! We had about 3/4 - 1 inch of accumulation at my house in West Knoxville.

UT didn't cancel or delay classes (surprise, surprise--it takes an act of God to shut that place down!), but I made the decision to delay my classes by skipping my first one. The roads near my house were reportedly messy, so since my voice instructor doesn't take attendance, I decided to stay home. I enjoy the class, but with snow and an inauguration to watch, I decided to skip today.

My health instructor kindly canceled class because of the snow and the inauguration, so I didn't have to go to class until this afternoon. I'm glad she canceled class, because *sheepish grin* I was going to skip it anyway. I never skip class--but I decided yesterday that I was willing to skip class to watch the inauguration. They only come once every four years, after all--and this one has even more historical elements to it than normal.

So I got to enjoy the snow a little bit this morning. :)

I love the special touch snow gives everything. That blanket of white adds a serene, pleasant feel to everything that gives the entire day a peaceful air. I also enjoyed watching the wind blow the snow around. It looked like tiny grains of sugar were swirling around in my backyard!

Here are some of the photos I snapped in my yard while the snow was still fresh (my mom took the pictures I'm in).

My car covered in snow

Some trees and plants in our yard

The front yard and the street in front of my house

My little brother and me

I tried to throw a snowball at him, but the snow was too powdery

Watching history with mixed feelings

Today, Barack Obama became the first African-American president of the United States. His swearing-in was definitely a moment for the history books, particularly with our country's not-so-distant history of racial discrimination and segregation. I was proud to see that many people in our country have set aside the past and embraced our new leader, regardless of the color of his skin.

But despite the historical significance, I watched the inauguration today with a somber feeling. While I'm proud that our country has made a large step toward healing some of the grievious past racial sins we committed, I simply cannot agree with many of President Obama's policies, particularly on issues such as abortion. The thought of what his election could mean for the unborn in our country is sobering.

However, I don't have a woe-is-me or this-is-the-end-of-the-world feeling about it all. While I don't agree with President Obama on many key issues, that does not mean he will not have my support and respect as the leader of this country. More importantly, he will be in my prayers. My God is a God of miracles and it is certainly well within his power to change someone's heart. God wasn't surprised when Obama was elected and the Bible makes it clear that God establishes leaders in the positions they are in (Romans 13:1). God can use anyone--even leaders not living for Him--to accomplish His purposes.

Sadly, I must confess that I have not prayed for our country's leaders in the past as much as I should have. I think having a president in office for the past eight years who professes to be a Christian and supported many Christian values, unfortunately, led me to relax some and not pray as I should have. Some of our nation's recent events have served as a wake-up call in my life to be on my knees daily--multiple times a day--for our nation and its leaders. The Bible makes it very clear that we should be praying constantly for all of our leaders and I've asked the Lord's forgiveness for failing to do that. In an election year marked by a cry for change and new beginnings, it is my prayer that this "change" and reawakening in my prayer life will stay with me and that I won't make the same mistakes again. I want to stand in the gap and serve as a watchman on the walls for our nation, not simply be part of the crowd, oblivious to the potential dangers around me.

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone--for kings and for all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
- 1 Timothy 2:1-2

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
- 2 Chronicles 7:14

Rain, rain, go away!

I've tried to keep a positive attitude about it, but...I'm sick of rain!

Granted, we need the rain. (My attempt at a positive outlook.) Even though we managed to break even in rainfall for 2008 (thanks in large part to a very wet December!), experts say we really need a couple of years of surplus to make up for the nearly 14-inch deficit in rainfall we experienced in 2007. Although they do caution that to be most effective it really needs to come in the form of a slow, steady shower--not the heavy downpours we've experienced of late.

But in my opinion, the overabundance of rain we've seen lately, while it has its purpose, needs to move on. I need some sunshine! (Actually, the earth does too, to avoid more flooding problems.)

The world simply seems like a happier place when the sun is shining. Winter is usually dull enough after the holidays without the added frustration of days of cloudy skies and perpetually wet conditions.

So I'm thankful to finally see a seven-day forecast predicting at least a few of days where we'll have a high chance of seeing the sun. It doesn't look like the sun will provide any warmth...but hey, beggers can't be choosers. It is winter, after all. I'll take the cold conditions as long as they're paired with sunshine! :)

Dancing with Jesus

I like to dance. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not that great at it--I don't have the natural grace and agility some possess and can't seem to sway my hips just so--but nevertheless, I enjoy dancing. My philosophy on dance is: As long as you're having fun and not stepping on your partner's toes--who cares?

Every once in a while, it's fun to just relax, cast your cares aside and dance. Who cares how stupid you may look. If you're having fun, that's all that matters.

I had a blast dancing around tonight with some of my friends at a wedding. Did I know all the moves some of my friends did? No. Was I one of the better dancers there? Not by a long shot. But was it worth it? Absolutely! I simply enjoyed laughing with my friends as we moved to the beat of the music.

I designated the rest of the evening to just relax, so when I came home I sat down on the couch and started to unwind. As I thought back over the night's events, I heard the Lord gently whisper, "Come dance with me."

Then once again, "Come dance with me. Let me hold you close and lead you through the joys and the sorrows of life. Feel my strong arms around you--gently holding you close, yet firmly guiding your steps. It won't always be easy--but I'll never let you go.... Come dance with me."

So I did. Responding to the moment, I began to gently waltz around the room, basking in my Jesus' presence, savoring his nearness.

But it it goes much deeper a simple response like that. I've taken a "social dance" class (basically ballroom dance with some Latin dances added as well) and I know that while some dances are fun and easy--others take work and practice. In fact, when one is first learning the steps to some dances, it is easy to become frustrated and think one isn't capable of doing the moves correctly. But given time and experience--it becomes second nature. Anyone can dance.

And sometimes, it's hard not to unintentionally try to lead. Just ask me how often I got yelled at for accidentally trying to lead in class (I had a *very* strict teacher and that was entirely against the rules--women are *never* supposed to lead!)! But no matter how tempting it is to try to control the next steps, the dance always goes best when the man leads and the woman follows.

Similarly, there are times when life with God is fun and easy. Life seems effortless and full of pleasure. But other times, when God changes the music and introduces some new steps, it isn't always so easy. It takes work. Lots of hard work. And trust. We have to allow Him to lead us, no matter how much we want to control the next move and determine where we're going and when. It often becomes frustrating, and it's easy to feel like it's impossible to ever learn the dance.

But when we allow the Lord to lead us and teach us--we will eventually emerge victorious and glide easily across the floor with our ultimate lover and Savior, Jesus Christ. We can rest in Him arms, knowing that through it all, He will never let us go.

Are you dancing with Jesus? Are you letting Him take the lead, even when the dance involves new and maybe even intimidating steps? His call to dance isn't just for me. He's beckoning to you, too-- anxiously waiting to lead you onto the dance floor. Will you let Him?